


good mourning

by seoseouls (kihoseok)



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: 2tae is in the past, A lot of Hurt, Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, I APOLOGIZE, I hate myself, M/M, Survivor Guilt, im so sorry, past trauma, uhhh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-04
Updated: 2017-06-04
Packaged: 2018-11-08 20:20:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11089188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kihoseok/pseuds/seoseouls
Summary: Death and destruction rarely breed love and comfort, but for Taeyong, just this once, they do.





	good mourning

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this as a 'thank god im out of school'. i probs should have updated my other fic first, but oh well.

"Hyung?"

Taeyong rolled over in his makeshift bed, rubbing his eyes and groaning. "Yes?" He replied, his voice gravelly as a result of his sleep. 

"I'm scared."

For the first time, Taeyong opened his eyes to look at the boy before him. Sicheng was curled up about a foot away from him, clutching the same scrappy threadbare blanket he had used for what seemed like years. His knuckles were white with the effort of his vice grip and his eyes shone with unshed tears. Before Taeyong could ask why, he heard the sound of the _things,_ outside. Heard the drag of their nails across the thick door of their temporary fortress and the seemingly ever present hungry snarls of the beasts. Taeyong sighed, rubbing his eyes again and raising his arm in the universal gesture of 'come here', and Sicheng scooted into his embrace quicker than Taeyong would have thought possible if he hadn't known the other male for what seemed to be a month (It was hard to keep track of the days anymore). 

"Thank you, Hyung," Sicheng whispered, and Taeyong only grunted in response, wrapping his arms around Sicheng's thin shoulders. They had sat there in silence for a while, staring at the ceiling vents as the monsters outside their doors continued to growl and snarl, becoming almost a lulling tune. In the distance, someone screamed, a bloodcurdling sound that Taeyong had grown all too used to. Unfortunately, Sicheng hadn't. The younger began to sniffle into Taeyong's chest, and Taeyong felt his shirt dampen in two small patches as he rubbed Sicheng's back.

The foreigner had the most trouble out of all of them coping with their situation. From what Taeyong gathered he had just moved to Seoul when the epidemic had broken out, and Taeyong guessed he had lost someone. He had the same look in his eyes as Youngho did, as Taeyong knew he himself had, the look of pensive seas and rivers of grief raging and flowing behind his orbs. Taeyong had seen it so many times in so many others, but for some reason seeing that same look in Sicheng, the same look of hopelessness and heart-wrenching guilt that haunted all too many of the survivors. There was something so innocent in the boy's eyes, in his gait, in even the way he spoke that made Taeyong's heart crack a little more every time he heard it. He didn't deserve this, none of them did.

Taeyong knew, however, that feeling for someone else was counterproductive. It was the whole reason he was there, the same reason he was sitting with Sicheng at this very moment, staring at the ceiling of a school building with monsters banging at his door.

He had been out with his boyfriend, Taeil when the breakout had started. The two had been in a cafe together drinking tea and laughing, Taeil complaining about his vocal coach while Taeyong listened attentively. He had stared at his boyfriend in the light of the cafe, marveling at his beauty in the afternoon light. 

Then the screaming began.

At first, Taeyong had thought nothing of it, writing it off as some punk kids. Taeil had been more nervous, looking in the direction of the screams. "It's fine baby," Taeyong reassured, grabbing his boyfriend's hand. "It's nothing."

How wrong he had been. 

Not five minutes later people poured down the streets, running and screaming from some unknown threat. Taeyong had gotten up and instinctively pushed Taeil behind him, walking over to look out the cafe window into the streets. He was greeted with a horrific sight, cars plowing down the street crushing people under their tires as more people screamed, running down the streets. Taeyong looked on in horror at the grotesque sight in front of him, the sound of crunching bones and slamming bodies reaching even his ears within the shop. Now the roar of the screams was deafening, and the blood pounded in Taeyong's ears as he looked on into the streets, sheer terror mingling with confusion in his veins as he looked to the direction the people were running from, hoping to find the source.

He wished he hadn't. 

He saw people, or rather what _had been_ people shambling down the road, launching themselves at people, wrestling them to the ground before tearing into their flesh, painting the road red with blood and tissue. He watched as a girl jumped onto one of the men who had been running, sinking her teeth into his neck and tearing the flesh away, blood spewing out of the wound and Taeyong _swears_ he could hear that man's screams over all the others. He keeps watching, strangely transfixed as the girl moved to the man's middle, crouching down before digging her nails into the man's torso, ripping his ribcage open. Taeyong felt the bile rise in his throat as she pulled out one of his lungs, biting into it with a sickening delighted smile, her teeth coated in blood. She had locked eyes with Taeyong when she took another bite out of the lung, and Taeyong felt himself freeze under her gaze before ripping his eyes away.

He stumbled backward, bending over a table and retching, emptying the contents of his stomach onto the cafe floor. He remembered every detail of the girl's face, the blood covering her mouth and her cracked lips, her wild yellow eyes that had stared at him with some manic hunger he had never seen. He remembered her matted hair and, her taught muscles with gray skin, looking more dead than alive.

"Barricade the doors and windows. Get upstairs," He wheezed when he was done vomiting, looking to the terrified patrons crowded and workers in the back of the shop. 

"Why?" One of the baristas asked, hands clutching her coworker. "What's going on? What's happening?" Her voice shook, and Taeyong staggered up. "Barricade the doors _NOW_ , we don't have time!" He screamed, panic and adrenaline fueling his system. He began lifting a table, practically throwing it in front of the door. "Now!" He screamed again, and the second wave of screams from outside seemed to punctuate his sentence, and they seemed to be enough to spur the others into action, as they threw everything they could in front of the doors and windows. 

That was the first-night Taeyong knew true fear.

For a week, the patrons of the cafe had all shared the owner's apartment upstairs from the cafe. They slept where they could, Taeyong and Taeil sharing the couch as others slept on the floor or even in the bathtub. Another couple, Youngho, and Ten, were with them as well, and they had grown into what seemed to be friends over the week. Taeyong was happy with this arrangement, but he knew it couldn't last. His fears had been confirmed when the owner had walked in, wringing his hands as he told them there was no remaining food. Taeyong and Youngho had decided to go scout for food, settling for jumping rooftops to make their way. Taeil had kissed Taeyong like it was the last time they would ever see each other that day, and Taeyong assumed it had been the same for Youngho and Ten. Taeil had cried when he left, but Taeyong promised he would return.

He kept his promise, eventually returning to the safe house with Youngho carrying rucksacks of canned food and miscellaneous supplies for the other survivors. Taeyong was exhausted, his feet blistered and his legs hurting like hell, but all he could think of was seeing Taeil. When he opened up the trap door leading back down to the apartment, instead of the face of his boyfriend, he was greeted with the sight of the monsters down there, yellow eyes and gnashing teeth and the horrid sound of growling and squelching flesh. 

"FUCK!" Taeyong screamed, slamming the door back down. He looked over to Johnny, eyes wide with horror. they stood there, eyes locked until Taeyong' blood ran cold, the realization hitting him like a truck.

_Taeil was down there._

He launched himself back towards to door, desperation crawling its way up his throat. "Taeil!" He screamed, fumbling with the latch. He felt someone grab him from behind, pulling him back from the door and shouting something Taeyong couldn't understand. "Let me go!" He screamed, kicking and thrashing. "Taeil is down there! _My boyfriend is down there!_ " He thrashed and screamed, punching and kicking and wriggling until he had no energy left, no fight left in him. 

"He's gone, man" Youngho said from behind him as Taeyong dropped to the ground, limp. 

"You don't know that," He replied, voice hoarse from screaming.

"They all are, who could fucking survive that?" Youngho replied, grief causing his voice to break. "They're dead and now we need to fucking run. We need to get out of this city, we need to live because that's what they would have wanted, that's what Taeil would have wanted. It's- it's what Ten would have wanted," Youngho finished, his eyes welling up at the mention of his eyes. In that moment, Taeyong had seen himself in the man in front of him, saw himself in the grief and fear haunting Youngho's eyes,

"Yeah, yeah- okay," He muttered, staggering up onto his shaky legs, following Youngho into the night, into the unknown.

///////////////

A month later, Taeyong and Youngho had found Sicheng and his group of survivors, the two having picked up their own additions on the way. They all joined together, moving fast through cities, pillaging all they could and staying wherever they could. Now they were holed up in some school in Busan, seeking refuge for the night.

Although, for a moment, Taeyong thinks refuge is with Sicheng. 


End file.
